Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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