the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she told me i tasted like america
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
