Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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