I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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