I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
