I want to have your abortion
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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