here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
