On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
