That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im holly from the hills drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
