Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
