She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
