So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
