Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
