I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
