Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
