You work out of a Hotel?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize