ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
