google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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