So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
