on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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