Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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