the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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