Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
