did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
