I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
