What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
