you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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