This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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