I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
