Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
did i just pee glitter
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
