tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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