WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize