Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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