If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize