The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
