So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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