She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
