Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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