I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
