dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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