420 ftw
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
