Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
