for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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