I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
