she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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