the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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