i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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