They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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