Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
