is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
