so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
