Do vagina's smell?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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