it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
