Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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