We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
