i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
