Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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