Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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