Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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