Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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