i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
