My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
