Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
