What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
