i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
